This is the fourth post in a multi-part series where I share the highlights of the sections/subsections of the book How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
Previous: Arouse in the other person an eager want
Six Ways to Make People Like You
Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people
- A dog is a great example of something that gives you nothing but love and doesn’t have to do anything in return.
- You can make more friends in 2 months by being genuinely interested in other people than you can in 2 years by trying to get other people interested in you.
- “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.” — Alfred Adler
- Howard Thurston (magician) would always state to himself before going on stage, “I love my audience,” rather than, “Look at these suckers, I can fool all of them.” He thinks, “I’m grateful because these people come to see me. They make it possible for me to make my living in a very agreeable way. I’m going to give them the very best I possibly can.”
- Example: A Johnson & Johnson salesman always visited the clerk at the soda fountain and the sales clerk before talking to the manager about orders. He took the time to get to know others and express genuine interest in them.
- If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people — things that require time, energy, unselfishness, and thoughtfulness.
- Greet people with animation and enthusiasm. Answer the phone in tones that convey how pleased you are to have the other person call.
- Example: A salesman trying to win a debate in a workshop asks a potential client he’s been unable to sell to for 1 minute of his time to better understand that client’s business. He gets nearly 2 hours of time and a sale just by expending the effort to get to know the other side.