How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking (Part 5 of 12)

This is the fourteenth post in a multi-part series where I share the highlights of the sections/subsections of the book How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Previous: Begin in a friendly way

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

Principle 5: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately

  • When someone says “no,” their whole body sets itself on guard against acceptance.
  • The more yeses we get, the more likely we are at catching the attention for our ultimate proposal.

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The Yes-Yes technique is when you get someone to say “yes” to your questions two times in a row. For example…

  • Wouldn’t you like to have the bank transfer money to your next of kin upon your death? (Yes)
  • Don’t you think it would be good for you to give us the name of your next of kin so that we can carry out your wishes without error or delay? (Yes)

Socrates used this approach to get people to say yes to logical steps that led to his conclusion.

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Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.