This is the fifteenth post in a multi-part series where I share the highlights of the sections/subsections of the book How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
Previous: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
- Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves. Let the other person talk themselves out — they know more about their problems and their business than you do, so ask them questions.
- Don’t interrupt if you disagree with them. Listen patiently and with an open mind.
This statement is echoed in The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane.
- Keep the spotlight on them as long as possible.
- When speaking, the one word that should pop up most often in your conversation is not I but you.
“Talk to a man about himself, and he will listen for hours.” — Benjamin Disraeli
Up Next
Let the other person feel that the idea is his/hers.