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How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking (Part 6 of 12)

This is the fifteenth post in a multi-part series where I share the highlights of the sections/subsections of the book How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Previous: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking

  • Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves. Let the other person talk themselves out — they know more about their problems and their business than you do, so ask them questions.
  • Don’t interrupt if you disagree with them. Listen patiently and with an open mind.


This statement is echoed in The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane.

  • Keep the spotlight on them as long as possible.
  • When speaking, the one word that should pop up most often in your conversation is not but you.

“Talk to a man about himself, and he will listen for hours.” — Benjamin Disraeli

Up Next

Let the other person feel that the idea is his/hers.


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