This is the ninth post in a multi-part series where I share the highlights of the sections/subsections of the book How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
Principle 6: Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely
- “What did you want to get out of [the person you gave a compliment to]?” If we are so contemplatively selfish that we can’t radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something out of the other person in return, if our souls are no bigger than sour crab apples, we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve. I got the feeling that I had done something for him without him being able to do anything whatever in return for me.
- All-important law of human conduct: Always make the other person feel important. This urge to feel important is what differentiates us from animals.
- Golden Rule: One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself.
- Platinum Rule: Treat others the way they want to be treated.
- Say little courtesies like these oil the cogs of the monotonous grind of everyday life:
- I’m sorry to trouble you…
- Would you be so kind…
- Won’t you please…
- Would you mind…
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.