This is the twenty-sixth post in a multi-part series where I share the highlights of the sections/subsections of the book How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Principle 5: Let the other person save face
- We ride roughshod over the feelings of others — finding faults, issuing threats, criticizing in front of others.
- Example: letting seasonal workers go. Mention the successes and that you’re proud of them. “We’re rooting for you and we don’t want you to forget it”; people go away not feeling let down.
- Example: A new product director made an error in a study and had to show her work to the bosses. She simply said that due to an error, the study would be repeated before the next meeting. Her boss thanked her for the work and said it was not unusual to make an error on a new project, and that the error was due to inexperience not inability (this was done in front of colleagues to show faith in her work).
- We only destroy ego by causing to lose face.
Praise the slightest improvement, and praise every improvement.