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Be a Leader (Part 9 of 9)

This is the thirtieth (and last) post in a multi-part series where I share the highlights of the sections/subsections of the book How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Previous: Use encouragement; make the fault seem easy to correct

Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

  • Example: If someone wants to take on a role (e.g., go on a trip to represent the company), you can tell them “no” by saying that they’re too important and you need them for other work.


  • Give someone a title and feeling of authority
    • Be sincere; don’t promise anything you can’t deliver. Forget the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.
    • Know what it is you want the other person to do.
    • Be empathetic; ask yourself what the other person really wants.
    • Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.
    • Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.
    • When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.
  • Explain why you want the other person to do to make it more meaningful.

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