This is the thirtieth (and last) post in a multi-part series where I share the highlights of the sections/subsections of the book How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
Previous: Use encouragement; make the fault seem easy to correct
Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest
- Example: If someone wants to take on a role (e.g., go on a trip to represent the company), you can tell them “no” by saying that they’re too important and you need them for other work.
- Give someone a title and feeling of authority
- Be sincere; don’t promise anything you can’t deliver. Forget the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person.
- Know what it is you want the other person to do.
- Be empathetic; ask yourself what the other person really wants.
- Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest.
- Match those benefits to the other person’s wants.
- When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.
- Explain why you want the other person to do to make it more meaningful.